Don’t try stealing the network of people patiently building it

Building a network takes time. It requires patience. It does not happen overnight. When you wake up unemployed one day, this is not the time to start networking your way into finding a new job. People will see you coming from far away.

Building a network requires spending time when you don’t need it. It is about helping people without expecting anything in return. It is about suggesting two people connect because they might be a good fit. It is about asking what has been going on in people’s life, how is their new job, how they like the city they moved in, how is the family… on a regular basis.

I try to do this as often as possible. This is hard. Often, people won’t answer. Often, people will give a very short answer without asking a question in return. People might not realize that 1. I am truly interested in their life 2. they might need this “relationship” as much as I do. I can send people, business or ideas their way, I am not only “taking” something from them.

Sometimes, someone I have been asking for updates several times, emails me out of the blue and asks me a question to solve his/her problem. This is not how it works. You can’t just ignore the energy I dedicated to keeping the contact between us, and I can’t ignore the fact that you purposefully did not answer me. Maybe you were lazy. Maybe you don’t know how to organize yourself and lost this “todo”. I don’t expect you to be a freak about todo lists like me, but just to be mindful. I would rather have someone say “I am really sorry, I never answered your emails, and today I need you. Can you please help?”.

Don’t be an asshole. If you don’t build your network overtime, do not try to steal it from people who do.