Replacing atelic activities with telic ones
Three times a year, I have the pleasure of receiving in the mail the latest issue from Offscreen, an independent print magazine about technology and web. This is truly a great magazine, it always helps to read it and slow down, take time to reflect.
The 19th issue featured an article by Khe Hy called “Telic Like It Is”. He explains how some of us tend to look for any opportunity to “work” or just occupy any free time we have. Reading a story to his child is an opportunity to think about that important email he will send afterwards for example. I won’t lie, I often do this as well. Playing football with my son is an opportunity for some serious problem solving in my head. Watching my 10-month old daughter is great to catch up on some emails while she plays by herself on the floor. She won’t notice the difference, isn’t she? Of course she does, shame on me.
Khe explains we tend to replace atelic activities (with joy in themselves, without a goal) with telic ones (seen as useful, productive). A nap from my family is yet another great time to work more, even if sometimes a good old nap would do me some good.
I set myself goals of achieving financial stability through minimum work, and the solution I found was to develop side projects that would generate a recurring income. On top of that, my brain never stops having ideas and I sometimes find myself (or my wife calls me on it) completely blacking out from conversations because my mind went wild. I find side-projects and writing to be a good way to “control” and “feed” these needs. But they also encourage it.
As a result I tend to try to fill any spare time with thinking and coding, even though my end goal is to not have to work anymore one day, which let’s face it will never happen because my brain probably won’t stop craving for new ideas before a long time.
I need to start recognizing when I am just filling time, and more importantly, really “be there” when I spend time with my family!
